A stolen car or a jewelry smash-and-grab is no laughing matter.
Things of value are sometimes targeted by thieves focused on their resale value, or for their ability to contribute to another crime.
But what about the things that don’t seem to make sense?
Here is a list of weird things stolen in our coverage area over the course of 2018.
1. Thirty cheesecake portions
Hungry but want to skip the grocery store? Have a craving you just can’t ignore?
Someone reportedly broke into The Little Cheese Cake Company’s truck in Simcoe and stole about 30 cheesecakes.
Their total value was just over $150.
2. Clean up in aisle six
A thief or thieves left behind a mess when they stole something normally used to clean.
Several cases of paper towels were reported stolen from a grocery store in Burford.
Damage done to the rear of the store and the value of the paper towels was about $100.
3. Take a seat—literally
It’s not every day you see a family orchestrate a furniture heist.
So it was when a store in Guelph captured a family unit distracting employees so that the father could walk out with a chair.
It was a fairly expensive chair, valued at nearly $500.
Police were looking for a black SUV or pickup truck with a cab on the back.
4. Hundreds of apple tree saplings
An unusual crime in Meaford had police looking for some bad apples.
In May, about 500 apple saplings reportedly went missing over the weekend, with an estimated value of $4,000.
The only thing weirder than stealing 500 apple trees? When you realize that they were actually sold, not stolen.
5. Stealing from your boss
A vehicle theft isn’t all that surprising—over 85,000 cars were stolen in Canada in 2017.
Stealing your boss’s car, on the other hand, isn’t exactly a perfect crime.
A Milton man caused about $45,000 in damage after he reportedly stole his employer’s car and crashed it into a hydro pole.
He allegedly tried to run away from the crash before police arrived, but was tracked down about a kilometre away with the help of the canine unit.
6. An ill-eagle act
A massive golden eagle worth an estimated $15,000 was stolen from the Town of Erin.
Riff-Raff was described as “very large” and ‘not very friendly” by her owner Janet Michaud, meaning that whoever took her must have known what they were doing.
The bird was described as between three and five years old, over two feet tall and weighing in at 23 pounds.
Michaud said the bird was often used in movie shoots, falconry demonstrations and school field trips. Her whereabouts remain unknown.
7. Smelly cat, smelly cat
A Brampton man was charged after making off with a trailer full of kitty litter.
The thief reportedly drove the truck from Hamilton to Cambridge before leaving it there to and breaking into another business.
Surveillance video helped to identify the suspect, but didn’t shed any light on where the kitty litter fit into his heist.
8. Dognapping, ransom ‘something out of a movie’
When their pug went missing, Julie Young and Michael Green didn’t assume that it had been stolen.
But when a phone call offered an exact address offering the family’s dog for money, they contacted police.
A man was arrested on outstanding warrants at the exchange site, and after about two weeks of the ordeal, Bailey the pug made it home.
9. Underwear
A 13-year-old faced more than a dozen criminal charges related to breaking into homes to steal female undergarments.
Police had been investigating a series of thefts in the townships of Georgian Bluffs and South Bruce Peninsula, as well as in Owen Sound.
Further investigation showed that similar break-ins and thefts had been happening for the two years prior.
The teen was charged with eight counts of theft under $5,000 and five other offences related to these incidents.
