Each year in Waterloo Region, more than 1,000 people attempt suicide.
It’s a startling statistic to many.
But to those who have been touched personally by the silent epidemic, it’s not the least bit surprising.
Growing up in Elmira in the 1960s, Cathy Read-Wilson remembers feeling that she didn’t quite fit in with her friends and classmates.
Those feelings intensified as she moved into her teenage years, ultimately culminating in multiple suicide attempts.
“It’s that feeling of overwhelmedness and just wanting to get away and escape,” she tells CTV.
“You just can’t handle it, or feel you can’t handle it.”
Read-Wilson says she was able to cover up her first attempt at taking her own life and hide it from her parents.
The second time, one of her friends found out and contacted a doctor, who prescribed Read-Wilson with antidepressants.
The medication helped somewhat, but suicidal thoughts persisted. In the summer of 2010, Read-Wilson once again tried to end her life.
“Things started to precipitate that day, and I knew it wasn’t in a good direction,” says Read-Wilson.
“I think I sent out 20 emails. At that point I was very subtle in asking for help, and I was just wanting that phone call or email back, but it didn’t really happen.”
Read-Wilson says she has little recollection of the events of that day, but remembers hopping on her bike and taking off down a path, with suicide as the only thing on her mind.
She survived, but there was no covering up this time. After struggling in silence for decades, her family – including three children – were suddenly aware of a problem Read-Wilson had been trying to hide.
But although she expected her family to be ashamed of her, Read-Wilson was instead shocked to see how willing they were to help.
“As much as people might think their family won’t understand, you would be surprised at how much support you can get,” she says.
It was through the kindness of her family that Read-Wilson learned she could turn to the other people in her life when she felt her mind slipping.
In the three years since that incident, Read-Wilson has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She says she still has thoughts of suicide, but has taken up photography and says it helps her see the world in a different way.
She’s also begun to talk openly about her story more often, in the hope that it will reach and help others experiencing suicidal thoughts.
“Use other people to help you, because it’s not easy,” she says.
“The other thing is, from then on, expect it to be a heck of a lot of work. Do it – as hard as it is, do it.”
