As N.S. domestic abuse rises, daughter of murdered woman seeks more open discussion

Brenda Tatlock-Burke, is shown in this handout photo provided by her daughter Tara Graham. Tatlock-Burke was killed by her husband on Oct. 18, 2024. Since then four other Nova Scotia women have been killed by men who took their own lives. The province’s legislature has dubbed intimate partner violence, “an epidemic.” THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO-Tara Graham

HALIFAX — The daughter of a Nova Scotia woman killed by her husband is calling for greater public discussion about domestic violence, saying she learned too late about the warning signs in her mother’s relationship.

Brenda Tatlock-Burke was killed on Oct. 18, 2024, and since then four other Nova Scotia women have been killed by men who then took their own lives. Tatlock-Burke’s daughter, Tara Graham, said in an interview Friday that it was heartbreaking for her family to hear of the latest deaths.

On Sunday, investigators found the body of a 60-year-old woman in Mahone Bay, N.S., who they say was killed by her partner before he killed himself. Another high-profile case occurred on New Year’s Eve in Halifax, when a woman and her father were shot dead in a car by the woman’s boyfriend.

Graham said more campaigns and public conversations about intimate partner violence are needed to help families and friends recognize if their loved ones are at risk.

Graham, a learning assistant and nurse who lives in Cochrane, Alta., said there had been a long history of her mother’s husband, Mike Burke, being possessive and controlling. But Graham said her family wasn’t aware the former Mountie’s behaviour was a sign he posed a danger to the 59-year-old Tatlock-Burke.

“There needs to be more conversation and more understanding on the signs that people can look out for,” she said in a telephone interview.

Graham said Burke had pressured her mother to limit her relationship with her own children, controlled her finances and was often jealous of any friendships or social activities that he wasn’t directly involved in.

“The coercive control was so strong and prevalent. That was ultimately what led to her domestic abuse, and we weren’t able to define that until after the fact,” she said.

She said that before she lost a family member to domestic violence, she “didn’t have the words or language” to understand what was occurring.

“I definitely would have had deeper, harder conversations with my mom. I could have been able to reach out to other services and ask them for guidance, but I didn’t have that information at hand,” she said.

Kristina Fifield, a social worker and trauma therapist, was among the signatories of an open letter sent Thursday, as more than a dozen groups working in the area of gender-based violence called for urgent government action.

The letter requested a meeting with Premier Tim Houston, Attorney General Becky Druhan and Minister Responsible for the Status of Women Leah Martin. The signatories said they want the province to take immediate steps to address and prevent intimate partner violence amid what they call “an alarming increase” in violence.

The government has noted that in its last budget it added an additional $7.1 million in annual core funding to transition houses and women’s centres -- bringing their budgets up to a total of $16.9 million annually.

That came in response to the public inquiry into the mass shooting of 22 people in April 2020, which began with the perpetrator assaulting his partner. One of the inquiry’s recommendations was for the province to ensure women had “paths to safety” when threatened by abusers.

However, Fifield said the initial funding falls far short of what’s needed and hasn’t begun to address the need to increase resources for men’s treatment programs.

She also said it is important for police to provide names of killers and victims -- when victims' families are willing to share them -- to help widen the public discussion about domestic violence.

“People don’t want to talk about this and that’s why we need to continue talking about this. That’s part of the cultural shift that is needed,” she said.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Jan. 10, 2025.

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